The Sleepwalker (part two)

“There is a man in our bed! Please come and help us!” The phone by my bed had rung at 0400, Sybil was less than amused to be woken again. I had transferred the phones to the cottage because the member of staff who let me down the night before had borne the brunt of the sleepwalker’s antics and Sybil’s mood and had left my employ.

The couple that called me were in room 10. I knew this because their name and room number were displayed on my phone when I answered the distress call. When I reached the room there was a ‘welcome’ committee. The couple in room 10 were outside it talking to the psychiatrist from next door. “He’s in there!” said the woman who had more men in her bed than she wanted, and who was now visibly shaking. “What happened?” was the only sensible question I could muster whilst noticing the psychiatrist eying my Playboy outfit. I wondered whether he knew I was ‘commando’ again for only the second time in my hotel career.

“We were in bed, fast asleep when I felt the urge to move over having been told to do so by a strange voice, half asleep I did just that. It was only when my husband got up for the toilet that he noticed there were two people occupying the space he’d just left. He turned the light on and we found a naked man lying in our bed fast asleep.”

I entered the room to find ‘Steve’ in the centre of someone else’s bed curled up in their duvet snoring peacefully. Now, what to do? The audience was growing outside when I emerged to pacify the former occupants of room 10. I explained the story of the night before, unnecessary because the psychiatrist had already. I woke ‘Steve’s’ partner and together we got him into her bed.

The lady from room 10 who had unwittingly had a Menage et trois but failed to appreciate her luck, admired ‘Steve’s’ derriere on his short walk ‘home’. The crowd dispersed and I got home to Sybil with a proper story that would definitely raise her eye patch of curiosity.

At breakfast the next day I struggled to make it in time for service. Just as I reached the restaurant door I saw ‘Steve’ addressing the room. He was apologising to them all and explained that he hadn’t brought his medication that sometimes helped prevent nocturnal forays into the unknown. He made a special effort to appease the woman whose bed he’d shared and apologised if he had done anything inappropriate and for the shock. Blushing she replied “Having seen you walking back to your room afterwards, I only wish you had been inappropriate, I think we kicked you out too soon and I am so glad now that I forgot to lock the bedroom door last night!” To the roars of laughter from the other guests, the red face of one and to the relief of thine host.